How To Network As An Introvert Or An Extrovert: Playing To Your Strengths For Real Connections

A little while ago, I joined a business networking group that was very practical. They did not just throw you in a room and say "go talk". They actually showed us how to do it in a way that felt human and repeatable.

For someone like me, who leans introvert, that group changed a lot. It turned networking from something that drained me into something I could approach with confidence. That is why I want to share some of what I learned, so you can use what comes naturally to you instead of fighting it.

If you have ever felt awkward, fake, or completely worn out by networking, this is for you.

The Big Picture: Networking That Fits You

Networking feels very different depending on who you are.

If you are introverted, it can feel like walking into a room where everyone else got a script and you did not. You may worry you will say the wrong thing, run out of energy, or end up standing alone with a drink pretending to text.

If you are more extroverted, you might genuinely enjoy these rooms. New faces, new stories, new energy. You come away buzzing. But there can still be a quiet worry underneath. Did I really connect, or did I just talk to a lot of people? Did I listen enough?

Since lockdowns and long spells of remote work, networking has shifted. A lot more happens through screens, messages and virtual events. That change made one thing very clear.

You do not have to become a different person to be good at networking. You simply have to work with who you already are.

So instead of asking
"How do I become better at networking in general?"
it helps to ask
"How do I make networking match my personality so it feels natural, not forced?"

In simple terms:

• If you are introverted, you do not have to be the loudest person in the room. Focus on a handful of honest, useful conversations.
• If you are extroverted, enjoy meeting lots of people, and then make sure you slow down enough to really hear them.

Networking is less about collecting names and far more about building relationships. When you keep that in mind, the whole thing becomes less scary and more meaningful.

Knowing How You Are Wired

We all bring different strengths into a room.

People who are outgoing often find it easy to start a conversation with anyone.
People who are quieter often bring depth, thoughtfulness and strong one to one connections.

Both ways of being are useful. Both work well in networking.

The first step is simple: notice your natural style.

• Do you feel more comfortable in small groups or large ones
• Do you tend to speak first or listen first
• Do you feel energised after events or drained

Once you know this, you can stop trying to copy someone else and start doing more of what suits you. That is when networking feels less like acting and more like normal human contact.

Networking Strategies For Introverts

If you are introverted, you might secretly be better at networking than you think.

You are likely good at listening. You probably notice details. You may ask thoughtful questions. All of that makes people feel seen and heard. In a networking setting, that is a strength.

Here are some ways to make that work for you.

1. Favour smaller settings

Big events with bright lights and constant noise can drain you fast. When you can, choose:

• Smaller meetups
• Breakfast groups
• Round table style events
• One to one coffees

In those spaces, you can have calmer, more honest conversations.

2. Go for depth, not volume

Set a simple goal. For example: "I am going to have three real conversations and that is enough."

A real conversation might be:

• Asking someone what they are working on at the moment
• Asking what kind of people they are hoping to meet
• Sharing one clear thing about what you do, not your whole life story

Two or three of those is worth far more than twenty rushed chats where neither of you remembers each other the next day.

3. Prepare a few gentle openers

You do not need a script, but it helps to have a few easy lines ready so you are not caught off guard. For example:

• "What brought you along today"
• "Is this your first time at one of these"
• "What type of work do you spend most of your time on"

Simple, honest questions. No performance needed.

4. Let curiosity lead, not pressure

Take the weight off by shifting your focus from "I need to impress" to "I wonder what this person cares about."

Ask:

• "What are you enjoying at the moment in your work"
• "What sort of projects are you looking for right now"

Then listen. Really listen. That alone will set you apart.

5. Follow up quietly and clearly

You do not have to charm the whole room. But if you connect with one or two people, send them a message the next day:

"It was great to meet you yesterday. I liked hearing about your work on X. If you ever want to bounce ideas around that topic, I would be happy to."

That kind of follow up often leads to real relationships over time.

The point is not to become extroverted. It is to use what already comes naturally to you.

Networking Strategies For Extroverts

If you are extroverted, networking might feel like home turf. You like people. You enjoy talking. You walk into a room and you are off. That is a huge strength.

Your energy can put others at ease and get things moving. If you guide that energy with a bit of intention, you become very effective at building strong, lasting networks.

Here are some simple ways to do that.

1. Use your energy to welcome others

Instead of only talking to the people who are already confident, look for:

• The person standing on their own
• The small group that looks a bit stuck
• The new face who seems unsure where to go

You can open the circle, bring people in and help them relax. That is a quiet form of leadership.

2. Talk, but also make space

You will often be the first to speak. That is fine. Just remember to pause and invite others in.

• Ask short questions and leave room for answers
• Reflect back what they say so they feel heard
• Resist the urge to jump in with your own story every time

A useful rule is: speak, ask, listen, then speak again.

3. Aim for connection, not performance

Because you are comfortable in social spaces, it is easy to slip into "putting on a show". You are charming, people laugh, the conversation moves quickly.

There is nothing wrong with that. But try to land at least a few conversations where you slow down and ask:

• "What are you actually working through at the moment in your business"
• "Who would be a helpful person for you to meet"

When you go past small talk, people remember you.

4. Treat follow up as part of the event

A lot of extroverts are great in the room and then disappear afterwards. You can stand out by being the one who always follows through.

• Send a short "great to meet you" message
• Share any links, resources or introductions you said you would send
• Connect on LinkedIn with a short note about what you spoke about

That simple habit turns a fun chat into a real contact.

5. Think of networking as a two way street

You have plenty to gain from meeting new people, but you also have a lot to give. Ask yourself:
"Who could I introduce this person to that might help them"

When you play that role, you become someone people trust and remember.

Using Your Strengths Instead Of Fighting Them

Networking often feels heavy when we think we have to become someone we are not.

The truth is, wherever you sit on the introvert extrovert scale, you already have useful tools:

• Introverts bring calm, focus and depth
• Extroverts bring movement, energy and reach

Both are needed.

A few simple things help everyone:

Ask for introductions. If you know one person in the room, ask them, "Is there anyone here you think I should meet" This removes that first awkward moment.

Practise in lower pressure settings. School events, local groups, volunteer work and small business meetups are all good places to get used to talking about what you do in a relaxed way.

Remember that networking is a skill. You are allowed to start where you are and get better over time. Nobody was born with a stack of business cards in their hand.

Your natural personality is not a problem to fix. It is the starting point you build from.

A Different Way For Introverts To Measure Success

I want to speak directly to the introverts for a moment.

Networking is not reserved for extroverts. You are not "bad at it" by default. You simply measure success differently.

If walking into a room of strangers makes your stomach tighten, you are not alone. I still feel that sometimes. The mistake is thinking success means "meeting as many people as possible" or "being noticed by everyone".

For us, success might look more like this:

• You spoke to two or three people and really heard them
• You found one person you would genuinely like to speak to again
• You left with a sense that at least one conversation could grow into something real

Our strength is often in one to one or small group conversations, where we can really connect beneath the surface. That is a significant advantage when you are building long term relationships.

So when you walk into a networking space, remind yourself:

• You do not have to work the room
• You do not have to be the most visible person there
• You do have something solid to offer

Give yourself credit for that.

Bringing It All Together

Whether you lean more introvert or more extrovert, you have something useful to bring to any room you walk into.

Networking is not about squeezing yourself into a standard mould. It is about knowing how you are wired, playing to your strengths and being honest about what you want from each interaction.

If you focus on:

• A few real conversations instead of a stack of contacts
• Listening as much as you talk
• Following up in simple, human ways

you will find networking becomes far less scary and far more effective.

Know what you bring to the table, keep showing up and treat every event as a chance to build one or two genuine relationships. Over time, that is what moves your career and your business forward.

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